What Strengths We Have
by Cooptown
Summary: As he watches them, he realizes what utterly remarkable people they are; it shows him that maybe he can be strong too.  Hotch-centric, oneshot character study.


**My first document on my new laptop.**

**This is sort of repetitive and mostly a character study, but she wanted something Hotch-centric and this nearly wrote itself. It like, flew onto the page without me really thinking about it. Also, I've never written in present tense... so this is a test.  
**

**A gift for my much beloved friend & beta reader, Indie Sol. I hope you like this!**

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_**What Strengths We Have**_

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Strength is not something they all possess evenly.

For Morgan, it's physical. He's powerful in all senses of the word, a human tank with all the brutality necessary to make him good at his job. His 'lionheart' enables him to be the one they all depend on when things get rough.

For Emily, it's her sense of self. She is unbelievably reliant on herself, and her ability to stay sane despite the pressure she frequently finds herself under. She always knows the right things to say to sooth her comrades.

For Rossi, it's his understanding; his remarkable ability to know how his teammates are feeling- and his ability to react accordingly and empathize. He's the one to offer help when they're least willing to ask for it.

For JJ, it's her humanity. She is the heart of the team; the one who shows her human side to share her boundless compassion with countless victims of tragedies. She's the face of their souls, a window into the hearts of these people who give theirs to keep others safe.

For Reid, it's his mind; his undeniable mental strength; it's his ability to remain as gentle-hearted and kind as always despite the traumas he's suffered. He's the one they trust with secrets, and the one they go to when they need words of comfort.

For Garcia, it's emotion. It's her ability to connect. She sheds tears over people she doesn't know; she cries for victims and their families, at the horrors they've experienced. She cries for her teammates health and safety, sobbing when they're hurt, and sobbing when they come home safe.

For Aaron Hotchner, it is all of these and more. For him, it's the ability to lead.

He weighs the options of sending his team out. He deals with the risks, the chances, and the possible outcomes. He sleeps easy when his decisions lead to success; a quick raid, a subdued unsub, and a safe return of his six precious teammates.

He struggles to cope when his decisions lead to catastrophe.

He struggles to cope when his decision to send Emily and Reid undercover leads his newest agent into abuse that leaves her face bruised and marred for weeks.

He struggles to cope when Garcia is shot, doing only what she thought was helpful. He should have known. _He should have known._

He struggles to cope when he sends JJ alone to interview Paul "Dante" Davies and she ends up concussed and on leave for two weeks.

He struggles to cope when Reid succumbs to anthrax poisoning, when he's kidnapped, and when he's shot.

He struggles to cope when Morgan is attacked by an unsub when conducting a near-solo raid during a rolling blackout without backup.

He spends countless nights awake, trying to breathe when images of George Foyet slaughtering his wife and hunting his son bombard his mind. On the rare occasions he gets decent sleep, he relives the entire Reaper case, retracing his steps and imagining, _if only that had been different._

Hotch is perhaps the strongest of them all.

He is responsible for them; they are all precious to him in their own ways, although he rarely shows it. The strength he displays is unfathomable; the weight that settles so heavily over his shoulders has robbed him of the ability to smile. His true strength is the ability to lead.

Through all the mishaps and disasters, through all the hardships and trauma, he has kept this team together for years.

When the stress of the day, the case, and the losses have weighed down upon his weary frame, he looks out into the bullpen.

He sees Garcia, dressed in yellow and orange, standing by Morgan's chair and grinning at him while he laughs and slings and arm around her shoulders.

He sees Reid, sitting cross-legged on Emily's desk with one of his silly, crooked smiles while he holds a purple pen from Emily's reach. She lunges for it, rolling her eyes with a smirk when he loses his careful balance and nearly falls over.

He sees JJ walking past them into her office. She pauses and says something, smiling when they all pretend to get to work. She looks up into Hotch's office as she passes, a soft, warming smile gracing her beautiful face as she breezes by.

Looking out across the catwalk, he sees Rossi starting out from his own office. He looks up and his dark eyes meet Hotch's evenly. The older profilers weathered face tilts down in a nod, his eyes shining as if to say, _take your time. You did well today._

It's late, Hotch realizes with a start when his dark eyes catch sight of the clock. For once, he's ready to go home. He clicks the light off and makes his way out of the office. The sight of him on the stairs commands the attention of those precious six, and they all look at him sharply.

"You did well today," he says, echoing Rossi's earlier projection. "Go home and take it easy. I don't want to see you here until nine tomorrow."

That small favor, a few extra hours of sleep were the least he could offer after all they've given these past few weeks. Immediately, he sees the gratitude in their eyes, the weariness in their bodies as they move to get ready to leave.

JJ squeezes his shoulder as she passes, Rossi nods again, Garcia waves, Morgan gives him a grateful look, Emily smiles, and Reid gives him one soft look that, like he's prone to do, says too much.

As he watches them file out to go home, Hotch feels that familiar, stony weight lift from his shoulders and it's as though a physical change has come over him.

He stands up straighter, breathes easier, and for the first time in a long time, he's ready to go home.

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_**"Good actions give strength to ourselves and inspire good actions in others."**_

_**- Plato**_


End file.
